Hello, Fetus

Yes, it's true, there is a fetus in my tummy.  And here's a few questions and answers to tell you how it's going so far!

How and when did you find out?

I found out towards the end of June.  I had absolutely no idea that I was pregnant.  When Steve and I decided to try, I bought several pregnancy tests.  I figured it would take us a while and I'd want the tests.  I had bought a few of the fancy digital tests that tell you how far along you are.  I decided that I could use cheap tests until we got a positive, then use a digital test to calculate how far along I was.  Well one morning I was bored.  I didn't think I was pregnant because I was having cramps that I assumed were signaling the beginning of that special monthly time.  I decided since I had 3 digital tests (that's how many came in the box) I could spare one for curiosity's sake.  I wanted to see how they worked, I'd never used one before.  

So I did my thing and set it on the counter and started getting ready for work. (Steve had already left at this point.  I was positive that I wasn't pregnant so I figured there was no point in asking him to stay, or even telling him I was taking a test.)  As I was getting ready for work and I kept glancing at the test.  The digital tests have a little hour glass that flips back and forth.  I looked down and the screen said "pregnant" and the hour glass was still flipping.  I yelled, "what?!? Wait... no no no, what?!?" and grabbed the instructions.  I thought, "maybe it takes a minute to have 'not' come up before the word 'pregnant,'  but that seems kind of mean and messed up..."  (I wasn't thinking rationally, I was just convinced the test was wrong.)  The instructions informed me that the test will determine pregnant or not pregnant first, if it determines that you are pregnant, then it will take a few more minutes to calculate how far along you are.  At that point I put the instructions down and looked at the test again.  "Pregnant 1-2"

Jaw dropped.

No...  I'm not pregnant... Am I really pregnant?

As I was getting ready I kept stealing glances at the test.  I don't know why, but I kept expecting it to change and say "not pregnant."

I was so glad at that moment that Steve and I work together.  Before I left for work I ran down to all the baby clothes my sister gave me and found one of my favorite onsies.  It says "Hello, I'm new here" and has a picture of the Earth. I put that in a sack with the test and went to work.  On my drive there, I started to come out of my shock.  I said out loud, "Oh my gosh, I'm pregnant!" and started to cry a bit.  Don't worry, I didn't cry long, I snapped back into shock pretty quick. 

I got to work and I asked Steve to come out to my car to help me with something.  He came out, I asked him to sit in my passenger seat and I handed him the bag.  He opened it, looked at me, and I shakily whispered, "I'm pregnant"  We hugged and cried for a few minutes.

It's one of my favorite moments.

Have you had any issues?

I've been extremely wary of having a miscarriage.  In the first few weeks, I continually told myself not to get too excited.  I didn't want to be crushed if I lost the baby.  My mom has had several miscarriages, my sister has had one, I figure at some point in my life I'll have one too.  I thought, "don't sit and wait for it to happen, hope for the best, but don't get overly excited yet" (as if you can control yourself from getting overly excited)

But at 6 weeks, I started spotting.  I told myself not to get worried or upset yet.  Spotting is common, wait until you talk to your doctor.  This was on a Sunday.  First thing Monday morning I called my doctor's office.  I spoke with a nurse and described the bleeding to her.  She wasn't too concerned.  She said it sounded a lot like common spotting.  Especially since it had slowed way down overnight.  She told me to come in for some blood tests to check my levels.  I did and she called me back within an hour of getting my blood drawn.  She said that my levels looked good, I shouldn't be worried, and they wanted to do some followup blood work 48 hours later to make sure my levels are rising how they should.  So I went back Wednesday evening.

Thursday afternoon I called my doctor and the nurse put me on hold while she looked up my results.  At this point I had stopped bleeding completely and wasn't worried at all.  The nurse kept me on hold for a long time which isn't common for their office... I started to get a little worried.

She came back on the line and her tone had changed.  She was more somber.  She informed me that my levels hadn't risen as much as they should have.  I needed to have an ultrasound.  She said that in situations like this, they are most commonly looking for an ectopic pregnancy, or a miscarriage.  "oh...." I said with a lump rising to my throat.  She asked when I could come in for an ultrasound and I told her I could come as soon as possible.  They didn't have any open appointments that day so she called around to all the imaging centers close by.  All booked.  I'd have to wait until the next morning for one.

Talk about a long night.

I was a mess.  I had tried so hard not to get too excited early on, but how can you not get excited?  All evening I was choking back tears.  Steve and I just sat and held each other.  He took off work the next morning and came with me to the ultrasound.  The whole ride there I was focusing on taking deep breaths and trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall down my cheeks.  We got there and I was prepared for the bad news I was sure we would get.  The tech did an abdominal ultrasound and found a sac, but no baby.  She said that can happen early on and that we should do a trans-vaginal ultrasound to see if we can get a better look.

Instantly a little pea shape appeared with a flutter right in the middle.  I did a double take, I looked at Steve to see if he saw what I saw.  The tech said, "there's your baby and there's the heartbeat!"  I looked from the screen to her to the screen again and said, "what?  Are you sure?"  I was in utter and complete shock again.  I went about life over the next 2 weeks extra nervous.  I was terrified that I might do something to disrupt that little pea in its growth.  My doctor did a follow up a few weeks later and the baby was still growing!  It was measuring right where it should!  Eek!  She put my mind at ease and told me that ultrasounds overrule blood tests.  The fact that the baby was growing at the pace it should and had a strong heartbeat told her that there was nothing out of the ordinary to worry about.

Symptoms?

I'm sorry, what was the question?  I fell asleep.

But really, this exhaustion is out of control.  I told Steve that it feels like someone drugged me with sleeping pills and won't let me sleep.

Pregnancy brain, it's been bad.  I may or may not have left a sprinkler on for 5+ hours and killed half my garden...  Whoops!

Nausea.  Bleh.  If I never puke again it will be too soon.  

But the worst symptom has been the migraines.

Luckily a very wise coworker informed me that taking magnesium and vitamin D will help with the migraines.  That's the only way I've kept from mentally losing it.  Before I started taking the supplements I had gotten 8 migraines in a 10 day period.  Every one had left me curled on the bed, crying, and praying for relief.  I was sure I was going to die.  Bless you magnesium and vitamin D.

Have you had any cravings?

My cravings seem to change from week to week.  One week I couldn't get enough potatoes.  The next I absolutely NEEDED V8, not the flavored stuff, the original tomato flavor.  Yum.  Mexican food usually sounds good.  But my two constants have been OJ and cheese, any kind of cheese.  I just can't get enough of either.  Cheese will always settle well.  

 How are your emotions?

Ya know, I always thought I'd be completely out of control when I got pregnant.  I was a total crazy woman when I started birth control... I may or may not have cried over the fact that Chick-fil-a forgot to give us a ketchup packet... (poor Steve... that was like 2 weeks after we were married.  He probably wanted to run for the hills when that happened.)  So far I haven't had anything too irrational happen...  Well... except for a minor melt down over the fact that I accused Steve of  making a lamp more important than me...  But that's a story for another time...

All in all we're SOOOO excited!  

I'm happy that Penny still loves me, even though I mostly lay on the couch.  

Also, I'm happy that Steve still loves me even though my hair is rarely out of a pony tail, my make up is rarely pretty, and I mostly lay on the couch.  Did I mention how much I love him?  Without him I'd have to repeat wear dirty clothes and eat off dirty dishes.  He's a saint, that man.

But we're almost out of the first trimester! 

Here's looking forward to less puke and more energy!