Where Will it End?

Blog world, 

This is how I feel:

Ugh.

I'm deciding right here and now that I'm changing my life.

somewhere between my back injury and my desk job I gained a little cushion.

The jeans I once referred to as my "fat" pants, are now uncomfortably tight.

But that's not what bothers me the most (although I don't love it),

I just feel gross.

I'm constantly tired.

My stomach seems to always be bothering me

I'm bloated more often than not

I have hit the point where I'm done.  I'm 22.  Shouldn't this be the prime of my life?  From here on out I'm taking better care of myself, not just for me, but for Steve and our future babies.  They deserve to have a wife/mom who's happy and energetic.  Not frumpy and lethargic.

So blog friends, here's my plan and I'm starting it right now.

Meals will be planned in advance and prepared for.  Before I go to the store I will sit down and make a list of what we will eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.  When I get home from the store I will organize and prep anything I can to make meals easier (e.g., putting snacks in grab and go baggies, creating salad topper mixes, prepping lunches for the upcoming week, etc.).

Exercise is sometimes tricky, but no matter what kind of pain I'm in, I'm going to be as active as I can everyday.  Exercise will mostly consist of yoga and walking, but when I feel up to more, I will weight train and challenge myself more.

Now here's where I struggle.  Impulse eating.  I've learned over the last little while that I'm most definitely an emotional eater and I eat when I'm in pain.  I'm going to focus on dealing with pain (whether it's emotional or physical) in healthy ways.  I'm not exactly sure yet what's going to work for me... I'll probably have a little bit of trial and error, but I'm a strong believer that thoughts and will power can overcome just about anything, and I hate the idea of not having control over shoving food into my mouth.  So I'll have my emotional eating under control pretty fast.

I have a juicer, I'm going to start juicing regularly again.  At least 4-5 times a week.  I used to have a juice almost everyday and I felt so amazing.

I'm a fairly good water drinker, but I definitely have room to improve.  I struggle with not drinking pop because I'm always tired and feel gross, yet pop causes me to feel even grosser... so that's kind of just a vicious cycle.  Starting today I will drink 120 ounces of water everyday and avoid pop.  I've seen a lot of flavored water recipes and I'm excited to try them... Like this one:

(Seriously, doesn't that look delicious?)

So blog friends, there's my plan.

I'm going to report to you all on a weekly so that I stay on track.  I know I will mess up and I know that I will have bad days, I'm human.  But I'm going to focus on the end goal and forgive myself and move on when I mess up.

I shall see you next week.

Steve's Stubborn Saturday

Steve is stubborn.  He is also anti-doctors.  It sucks when he's stubborn about not going to a doctor.  Let me back up.  Saturday morning Steve woke up with this weird pain just below his rib cage.  I kind of wrote it off thinking it was just indigestion.  We got ready for the day and met up with his mom.  We went to the temple, then to lunch, then took his mom shopping for her birthday.  After we got home Steve said that pain was still there and he was going to go lay down.  At this point I started to worry a bit, indigestion shouldn't last that long, should it?  But I agreed, he might benefit from laying down before we went on our double date that evening.  He napped for about an hour.  In that time Steve's mom and sisters stopped by for a quick visit.  My sweet husband came down stairs to say hi to them.  The second I saw him my immediate thought was, "Does he still have his appendix?"  The poor guy was slouching on the couch, grimacing, and holding his lower right side  - apparently the pain had moved.  I suggested that we reschedule our plans and stop by the hospital.  What was his response?  "No, I'll be fine." Of course you will be...  We met up with Steve's brother Kevin and his girlfriend at their downtown apartment (they had no idea that Steve was in pain).  We ended up walking to Gateway - which luckily was only a block away - for dinner and movie.  At this point, Steve isn't standing up straight and he's walking slowly.  I kept saying, "Honey, I really think we should go to the doctor...  Kevin and Madi will agree."  "No no I'm fine.  I feel completely fine when I'm sitting, I'll be fine in the movie."  *sigh* okay...  He wasn't sick to his stomach so I was second guessing appendicitis.  I kept thinking, maybe I'm just being paranoid, maybe he just has a weird stomach bug.  

I had to have been a really annoying movie date... every movement or sigh he made I'd instantly be in his bubble asking "hey, what's wrong? Is it worse? do you fell nauseous? Are you okay?  Do you want to leave?  Is the spot where the pain is hard?"  to all of which he responded, you guessed it, "I'm fine honey."

Finally the movie ended (Star Trek by the way - very good!) and I looked at him and he said, "well... maybe we could just stop by the hospital on the way home... I mean, we are double covered, we might as well."   I'm very glad he said that because I had already decided that we were going to the hospital no matter what... it's just nice that he didn't fight me on it.

So we get to the hospital, they got him RIGHT back.  I've never been to an ER that gets you back in under an hour, let alone under a minute.  The doctors poked and prodded and poked some more and came to the conclusion that he did in fact have appendicitis and that little sucker was coming out.  Luckily, his appendix wasn't to the point that it was about to burst and we'd gotten his pain under control with morphine.  They decided to put him in a room and operate around 6 AM.  We got him settled in a room and I decided to run back home for PJs and toothbrushes.  When I got back it was about 3:20 AM... I was exhausted.  I decided to lay on the uncomfortable little guest bed and get some shut eye...  and by decided, I mean hoped.  Between all the buzzing and beeping and nurses coming in and out of his room we both got maybe 45 minutes of sleep... it was rough.

Anyway, I'm rambling.  I'll wrap it up already.  Steve went into surgery a little before 6 and everything was fine.  We were actually able to come home today. Woohoo!  I'll leave it on that happy note and bid you adieu.  Now for some much needed sleep....