Frustrated

*Foreword: this is an emotional, frustrated ranting post. I try to keep my posts positive, but I'm not making promises for this one. You've been warned*

Can I just be real for a minute?

My body frustrates me, a lot.  I often feel discouraged.

For the last year or so, I've been so focused on trying to eat healthy, and since my back surgery, I've been focused on trying to eat healthy and get adequate amounts of exercise.  My weeknights have revolved around preparing creative healthy meals and working out.  It's practically consumed almost all my free time and energy.  Dare I say it?  It's more exhausting than school was with an injured back.

I track all my food, yes, I still have an occasional treat because let's be real, no one can go completely without treats.  I've tried really hard to make the treats healthier.  I've worked with a lady at work (she's our Health Promotions coordinator) she's been weighing me weekly and taking measurements.  She's so kind and patient with me.  I've been working with her for 2 months now...  and I've lost a total of about 2 pounds.  Is it this hard for other people?  I don't feel like it should be this hard.  Am I missing something?

I know I could be more diligent, there's ALWAYS room for improvement, but seriously, I've been doing pilates, yoga, swimming, spinning, and walking.  My feet hurt nearly every day from spending so much time in the kitchen making healthy meals.

My body seems to love fat, it just doesn't want to let it go, it never has  Granted, I've had really unhealthy habits in the past that have most definitely messed with my metabolism.  But should it be this impossible to get your metabolism to work properly?

Sigh,  I'm just tired, and I've gained 2 pounds in the last week.  It's hard to stay excited and motivated when you don't see the results you want.  I just need to revisit the drawing board, change up my game plan.

Don't worry, I'll never throw my goals out the window and stop working towards them, I still want to take care of my body. I know I'll get there with consistent hard work.

 I'm just tired, and frustrated, and discouraged, and I needed to ramble and vent.

So thanks for listening to my big fat complaining post.

Now to end with a little bit of positive, my flexibility is coming back to me.  And that makes me happy.