Wisdom Teeth 2.0

In February of 2012 I had 2 of my wisdom teeth removed in a drug study.  I was awake when they did it.  It wasn't too bad.  The oral surgeon was good.  He was talkative (which helped with the nerves) and fast.  He had those suckers out in less than 5 minutes.  What's even better is the fact that I didn't get a placebo.  Which is good because it was an overnight study and it sure would have sucked to lay there in pain for 12 hours.  They gave me some good pain killers after the study was done and I went home.  I was feeling so good in fact, that I decided we should hang out with people that night.  So we had people over.  We ate, we laughed, we had a jolly old time... and then something happened.  I must have overdone it with all my giggling because I woke up at 2 am with the worst pain I have ever felt... a dry socket.  It sucked.  What made it worse is the fact that it was a weekend and I had to wait until Monday morning to get it taken care of.  So I sat on the couch all night/day with an ice pack to my face.

This time, I've been more careful.  Even though I've been more careful, and haven't gotten a dry socket, I think this round has hurt more.  It has just been a miserable few days.  My jaw has throbbed and ached.  Tomorrow will be long.  I have work and school and won't be able to take any Loratab due to the sleepy side effects...  :S  Wish me luck.

My [kinda] Healthy Kick Off

I didn't completely suck this week up.

I juiced (which is always miserable at first due to the "cleansing")

I packed lunches which were mostly salads

My menu wasn't exactly followed...  It was kind of disregarded actually.   I had some last minute things come up on Saturday, the day I was planning on prepping stuff, and I didn't quite get around to getting everything from the store that was needed and we may have gone to Cafe Rio Monday night due to the lack of preparation.  Overall I was still able to pull it together and make healthy dinners every night.  Last night's dinner was especially good.  Chicken fajitas seasoned with Mrs. Dash seasoning (salt free), veggies, plain greek yogurt instead of sour cream, and homemade guac (also salt free).  I will definitely be making it again.

Water and I had a distant relationship this week.  My bad.  I'll do better next week.

I discovered that I overlooked something in my last post.  Social eating.  I had a lot going on this last week and I ended up eating fries, ice cream, and a deliciously fluffy muffin... all thanks to people around me eating them...  This next week I'm going to be much more mindful of what I actually want to eat vs. what I'm eating because it's just right in front of me.

I didn't do terribly at exercise this last week, but I didn't do great.  I worked out 3 days out of the 6 day goal I had set.  Half the days is better than none of the days.  Next week I'll get all six.  I'm going to make my fat cry, I'm gonna make it cry hard.

So that was my week... How was yours?

Where Will it End?

Blog world, 

This is how I feel:

Ugh.

I'm deciding right here and now that I'm changing my life.

somewhere between my back injury and my desk job I gained a little cushion.

The jeans I once referred to as my "fat" pants, are now uncomfortably tight.

But that's not what bothers me the most (although I don't love it),

I just feel gross.

I'm constantly tired.

My stomach seems to always be bothering me

I'm bloated more often than not

I have hit the point where I'm done.  I'm 22.  Shouldn't this be the prime of my life?  From here on out I'm taking better care of myself, not just for me, but for Steve and our future babies.  They deserve to have a wife/mom who's happy and energetic.  Not frumpy and lethargic.

So blog friends, here's my plan and I'm starting it right now.

Meals will be planned in advance and prepared for.  Before I go to the store I will sit down and make a list of what we will eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.  When I get home from the store I will organize and prep anything I can to make meals easier (e.g., putting snacks in grab and go baggies, creating salad topper mixes, prepping lunches for the upcoming week, etc.).

Exercise is sometimes tricky, but no matter what kind of pain I'm in, I'm going to be as active as I can everyday.  Exercise will mostly consist of yoga and walking, but when I feel up to more, I will weight train and challenge myself more.

Now here's where I struggle.  Impulse eating.  I've learned over the last little while that I'm most definitely an emotional eater and I eat when I'm in pain.  I'm going to focus on dealing with pain (whether it's emotional or physical) in healthy ways.  I'm not exactly sure yet what's going to work for me... I'll probably have a little bit of trial and error, but I'm a strong believer that thoughts and will power can overcome just about anything, and I hate the idea of not having control over shoving food into my mouth.  So I'll have my emotional eating under control pretty fast.

I have a juicer, I'm going to start juicing regularly again.  At least 4-5 times a week.  I used to have a juice almost everyday and I felt so amazing.

I'm a fairly good water drinker, but I definitely have room to improve.  I struggle with not drinking pop because I'm always tired and feel gross, yet pop causes me to feel even grosser... so that's kind of just a vicious cycle.  Starting today I will drink 120 ounces of water everyday and avoid pop.  I've seen a lot of flavored water recipes and I'm excited to try them... Like this one:

(Seriously, doesn't that look delicious?)

So blog friends, there's my plan.

I'm going to report to you all on a weekly so that I stay on track.  I know I will mess up and I know that I will have bad days, I'm human.  But I'm going to focus on the end goal and forgive myself and move on when I mess up.

I shall see you next week.

Steve's Stubborn Saturday

Steve is stubborn.  He is also anti-doctors.  It sucks when he's stubborn about not going to a doctor.  Let me back up.  Saturday morning Steve woke up with this weird pain just below his rib cage.  I kind of wrote it off thinking it was just indigestion.  We got ready for the day and met up with his mom.  We went to the temple, then to lunch, then took his mom shopping for her birthday.  After we got home Steve said that pain was still there and he was going to go lay down.  At this point I started to worry a bit, indigestion shouldn't last that long, should it?  But I agreed, he might benefit from laying down before we went on our double date that evening.  He napped for about an hour.  In that time Steve's mom and sisters stopped by for a quick visit.  My sweet husband came down stairs to say hi to them.  The second I saw him my immediate thought was, "Does he still have his appendix?"  The poor guy was slouching on the couch, grimacing, and holding his lower right side  - apparently the pain had moved.  I suggested that we reschedule our plans and stop by the hospital.  What was his response?  "No, I'll be fine." Of course you will be...  We met up with Steve's brother Kevin and his girlfriend at their downtown apartment (they had no idea that Steve was in pain).  We ended up walking to Gateway - which luckily was only a block away - for dinner and movie.  At this point, Steve isn't standing up straight and he's walking slowly.  I kept saying, "Honey, I really think we should go to the doctor...  Kevin and Madi will agree."  "No no I'm fine.  I feel completely fine when I'm sitting, I'll be fine in the movie."  *sigh* okay...  He wasn't sick to his stomach so I was second guessing appendicitis.  I kept thinking, maybe I'm just being paranoid, maybe he just has a weird stomach bug.  

I had to have been a really annoying movie date... every movement or sigh he made I'd instantly be in his bubble asking "hey, what's wrong? Is it worse? do you fell nauseous? Are you okay?  Do you want to leave?  Is the spot where the pain is hard?"  to all of which he responded, you guessed it, "I'm fine honey."

Finally the movie ended (Star Trek by the way - very good!) and I looked at him and he said, "well... maybe we could just stop by the hospital on the way home... I mean, we are double covered, we might as well."   I'm very glad he said that because I had already decided that we were going to the hospital no matter what... it's just nice that he didn't fight me on it.

So we get to the hospital, they got him RIGHT back.  I've never been to an ER that gets you back in under an hour, let alone under a minute.  The doctors poked and prodded and poked some more and came to the conclusion that he did in fact have appendicitis and that little sucker was coming out.  Luckily, his appendix wasn't to the point that it was about to burst and we'd gotten his pain under control with morphine.  They decided to put him in a room and operate around 6 AM.  We got him settled in a room and I decided to run back home for PJs and toothbrushes.  When I got back it was about 3:20 AM... I was exhausted.  I decided to lay on the uncomfortable little guest bed and get some shut eye...  and by decided, I mean hoped.  Between all the buzzing and beeping and nurses coming in and out of his room we both got maybe 45 minutes of sleep... it was rough.

Anyway, I'm rambling.  I'll wrap it up already.  Steve went into surgery a little before 6 and everything was fine.  We were actually able to come home today. Woohoo!  I'll leave it on that happy note and bid you adieu.  Now for some much needed sleep....

18 Acts

Hi blog world,

It's 11:19 and I'm wide awake with some sciatic nerve pain, so I thought, "what the heck, I might as well blog." So here I am.

I need to give you a bit of a background story for this blog. 6 years ago my sweet aunt (and one of my best friends) lost a daughter. Gracelyn, our little angel baby was born with Trisomy 18 and was only here for 18 hours.  I was 16 at the time and I'm so grateful to my aunt for letting me be a part of those few precious hours.  I was able to hold her and feel how special her sweet little spirit is. I wish I were better with words.  I know I can't even begin to describe the emotions felt that day - maybe there's no words that really can express the feelings felt that day.  I just remember feeling incredibly peaceful.

In honor of Gracelyn's birthday, my aunt decided she wanted to perform 18 acts of kindness to honor her baby.  I thought that sounded pretty awesome and of course I joined in.  I'm not going to go into detail about what selfless acts I've performed, and I'm not done with all 18 just yet, but I do want to share a little about my experiences.

I don't know about you, but sometimes going out of my way to help/comfort/serve another scares me.  This is partly because I'm afraid they'll think I'm weird, but more because I just don't know where to start.  I'm afraid that wherever I start will be the wrong place and I'll go about helping all wrong.  Also, when someone has gone through something tragic or upsetting I'm afraid to speak words of comfort.  What if they don't have the same beliefs as me?  What if I offend them? What if this poor hurting person doesn't want anyone to talk to them about whatever they are struggling with? Will I just make it worse?

I know I shouldn't think those things, but I do.  My aunts 18 acts of kindness challenge was and still is the exact thing I need to push me out of my comfort zone.  It's excellent motivation to be more aware of others and to go out of my way more often to help another.

I've also realized that my fears are slightly irrational.  Whenever I've been hurting in the past, kind words/acts from others are what have helped me make it from one day to the next.  So why am I being so selfish in not doing all I can for another?  There's really no good reason at all.

My few experiences I've had in the last month have all been so positive,  I hope I've helped raise others up, maybe I haven't.  I have, however, come to learn that what they say is true, service often times does more good for the person giving the serve, than the recipient of the service.

Mighty Monday

Today I feel like this guy - 

Peeps... Let me walk you through how my day went.

Woke up and got to work extra early this morning. 

Accomplished SOOO much at work today

Ran stairs during my lunch break

Planned my primary lesson during the other part of my break

cleaned my kitchen

Went to the chiropractor, read a good amount in my book while waiting to be seen

cooked a fairly fancy meal

cleaned my craft room

edited a photoshoot

did my first work out of insanity (don't worry I was careful)

read my scriptures

and now I'm blogging.

Oh did I mention that I ate INCREDIBLY healthy today?

Now that's what I call a Monday.

P.S.  Please don't feel bad about your life now... Usually I feel like I'm barely keeping my head above water.

Thursday Was a Learning Day

Hi blog world!

I'm not great at keeping up with blogging.  Life is just too gosh darn busy to commit to blogging consistently.  I want to start this blog off by saying how tremendously grateful I am for all my blessings.  Stephen and I are very very blessed.

 Let me back up.

    

I'll start with some of our most recent blessings.

I've worked at DMBA for a little over two years now.  I don't have a college degree.  I've only worked in our claims department for a total of 5 months.  A new job position recently opened and I thought, "what the heck, why not just try."  So I applied.  I was 100% confident going into it that I was not going to get it.  This was a HUGE promotion and there are so many amazing and well qualified people that I work with.  I thought for sure I would not be a serious candidate.  

I was wrong... after two projects and an excellent interview, I was told I got the job!

I'm the new Claims Documentation Specialist.

I think my mouth hung open for a solid ten seconds....  I was not prepared for a yes.  I didn't know what to say or how to react... heck I still don't.  All I know is I'm unbelievable blessed.  I'm also a little nervous that my lack of experience and education will show through, but luckily I'm surrounded by amazingly helpful people who come to my aid at the drop of a hat.  

I'm a very firm believer that Heavenly Father puts us exactly where we need to be, exactly when we need to be there.  I'm excited to be where I am.  This job is such an amazing blessing.

I want to be completely clear, I know I'm blessed and I'm so so so grateful that Stephen and I lead simple, fairly easy lives.  Our families are healthy and we are financially stable.  We have the best ward and perfect callings.  We have a nice house and a perfect Maggee.

We are blessed.

Unfortunately, life has trials as well as blessings.  No matter who you are or where you're at.  You will have trials.  It's an unavoidable part of life.  We learn, grow, and flourish best when we are being taught by life's trials.  

As some of you may know, my back sucks.  (This may seem like a small trial to most of you, until you experience ongoing, constant pain day in and day out.)  I hurt.  All. The. Time.  I honestly try to complain as little as possible.  There's nothing anyone can do about it and complaining only brings others down.

My back has been bothering me for almost two years now and I've been doing all I can to avoid surgery.  You name it, I've probably tried it.  Fact of the matter is, I hurt.  Simple daily things like doing laundry, or shaving my legs seem daunting most of the time.  It's not just the back pain that bothers me, but the fact that one of my disks is pinching my sciatic nerve, quite badly.  My leg hurts almost every hour of every day.

I've been told by doctors that I have an awful back for a 21 year old who has not suffered any type of physical trauma.  

I caved.  I decided to go to a surgeon.  My thought process was this, "I'd rather do surgery, be down for a few weeks and have a long stretch of a wonderful, working back.  If I have to get the surgery again 10 years down the road, so be it.  I want it fixed now, especially if I want to carry a child soon."  Maybe that was the wrong way of thinking, because it sure set me up for disappointment.

Thursday I met with a surgeon.  He looked at my MRI and said, "wow kiddo, you do not have a good back." 

Thank you.

He then went on to inform me that he can do surgery on my back and it may help relieve quite a bit of pressure on my nerve, but there's no "fixing" my back.  I can manage it through healthy daily habits and getting my core as strong as possible.  He said that if he were to only look at my MRI and guess my age, he would guess I was 50-60.  My doctor told me that in order to manage my pain the best I possibly can throughout my life, I need to be as thin as I possibly can... He also informed me that pregnancy is going to extra painful with my sucky spine structure, be advised that bed rest may a very realistic scenario.  

I walked out of that meeting thoroughly crushed.  Surgery was my last hope... that was my fall back plan.  I've tried everything else... surgery was supposed to make up for what my body couldn't do on its own.

I went to my car and had a complete breakdown.  Ugly cry face and all.

This pain has been bearable because I've always viewed it as short term.  It's never really crossed my mind that I'm going to suffer with back pain for the REST of my life.  I'm 21... I have a lot of life left.
I cried for a good long while before I felt like I could form a prayer.
I know better than to ask Heavenly Father to fix my back and make everything happy, I also know that Heavenly Father is loving, He is 100% aware of ALL of my struggles.  He's 100% aware of me, little ol' me.  Trials and pains are allowed in our lives because He is molding us into far better people than we are now.
So instead I prayed for comfort and patience to bear this.  It didn't come immediately.
I sat there for a few more minutes with silent tears running down cheeks just waiting...
Then it hit me, God helps those who help themselves.  I turned to my phone to read my scriptures and instead got distracted by the Ensign.  I read a story about a woman who realized that through trials in her life, she had the choice to be happy.
I realized in that moment that just because a few doctors say my back sucks, doesn't mean it always will.  I'm not holding out for a miracle, I know that sometimes people just have to hurt, it's a part of being human, but I realized I don't need to worry...
I don't know how my back will hold up through my life, I don't even know how my back will do throughout tomorrow, but I don't need to know.
I know that everything will be okay, it always has been and it always will be.
I'll continue to do what I'm supposed to, I'll try to eat healthy and strengthen my core as much as possible and have faith that Heavenly Father will handle the rest.
Because when it comes down to it, no matter what the trial is, that's all you can do.
Try your best and have faith in the rest.