The Many Sides of Marriage

What surprised you most about marriage?

I should warn you, things may get a little mushy here, I’m quite in love.  You’ll probably need some crackers with all the cheese I’m bringing to this post. ;)  Seriously, I always looked forward to marriage, and when I met Katie I looked forward to it a little bit more.  I’ve told Katie plenty of times that my decision in marrying her was as logical as it was emotional.  I wanted to marry her because she had (and has) many qualities that are so valuable in a marriage.  And when the decision to marry her became inspirational, she became irresistible.  I only mention all this to say that I knew what I was getting myself into.  So, what surprises me about marriage? Not much.  I’m happy, I’m in love, and I enjoy being with Katie.  I knew I would.  That isn’t to say marriage isn’t difficult at times, because it is, but we’re committed to each other and love working at our marriage together.  Marriage has definitely been an adjustment from the previous 27 years of unmarried life, but a happy adjustment.  Maybe you’re just thinking, “He doesn’t know what it’s like once you get out of the honeymoon phase.”  Well, whether that’s true or not, you don’t know what it’s like being married to Katie.  And take my word for it, it’s the best.

I should have gone first...How am I supposed to follow that?! Well, to keep it short and simple, I feel the exact same. I'm happy, in love, and also love being around Steve. I go through withdrawals if I get busy and don't get to see him enough. I feel like when we're in heaven and get to spend all eternity together I'll still never be able to get enough of him. However one thing that did surprise me a bit was the fact that EVERYTHING I go through, I go through with him. Before I got married I was very independent. I'm still getting used to the fact that things don't happen to me, they happen to us. For instance, when something really exciting happens I have someone who is right there with me and is just as excited. Or when something frustrating or sad happens I have someone to lean on. Steve still has to remind me on several occasions that it's "us."  

Oh and we can't forget Steve's sleep talking.  That was definitely the most enjoyable surprise. I feel a sleep talking post coming up in the near future. ;)

What have you enjoyed most about marriage?

What I've enjoyed most about married life so far is discovering what a joy it is to place a single person's interests above your own, making that person's happiness the object of your existence. I think that's the only successful way to make a marriage work. Katie has to be the most important thing to me. In one of my favorite novels, Victor Hugo writes, "To protect the being who loves you, to give what she requires to her who shines on you as your star, can anything be sweeter?" Short answer: No. And that's really been what I've enjoyed most so far. We have both found that our happiness in marriage, in life really, lies in securing happiness for the other. 

Not to sound repetitive, but I again feel the same way Steve does. I've definitely enjoyed being able to serve him. I'm constantly trying to find new, creative ways to show him I love him (thank you pinterest for ALWAYS having cute ideas). I feel like this answer mirrors my first in a lot of ways because one of the things I've enjoyed most is the fact that it's now "us" and not just "me." It really is one of the best, most comforting things to know that I'll always have my best friend by my side. I've also enjoyed learning everything Steve has to teach me. His knowledge of the Gospel far exceeds mine and it's exciting to be able to learn something new or gain new insight on a daily basis. 

What are you most looking forward to?

Can I say everything? Because I'm seriously looking forward to everything. School, careers, house shopping, kids, PTA, family home evenings, family scriptures and prayers, Sunday naps, inside jokes, family pets, our first wrinkles, our first grey hairs, our ups, our downs, our trials and our blessings. I'm looking forward to our 50th anniversary and being that old couple who makes passerby's smile because they're just so darn cute together. I'm looking forward to Steve still opening my door when we're 80 (he promised he still would). I'm looking forward to grand kids and great grand kids, summer vacations, watching our kids take their first steps, teaching them to swim, etc...I really could go on forever. I know things will be hard and I know times will get tough but I'm still looking forward to it all. As President Hinkley has said, "Life is to be enjoyed, not endured" and I'm looking forward to enjoying every last moment with my Stephen.

In looking ahead, I'm probably most excited for us to become parents. No, I don't know what it's like to be a parent, and yes, I'm sure there are things that will surprise me and my naive optimism about having children. That being said, I'm thrilled to have the responsibility of rearing a happy family. As I've thought about the future over the years I've always had visions of a little child walking through the park, one hand in Mom's, and the other in mine. I've pictured myself kneeling down in prayer with my children teaching them about who they are, and whose they are, helping them understand the Lord's plan and their part in it. I'm excited for the lighthearted moments when kids say and do clumsy things, and I'm excited for the sacred moments that will bring our family closer together. Ultimately, I'm excited for us to love our children, to have fun with them, laugh with them, and do all sorts of fun things with them as we build a family to last forever. After all, what good is eternal life if you don't have your family to share it with?