Steve and I were asked to give talks last week. Our topic was "Stay in the Struggle, Don't Quit." Here's my talk, don't make fun of me, I write out EVERY word. If I don't, I freeze up.
Good Morning Brothers and sisters!
For those of you
who don’t know me, and that’s probably most of you, I’m Katie Howe and this is
my husband, Stephen Howe. We just moved
from Sandy about a month ago and we’re really excited to be here. We’ve been married for a little under three
years. We don’t have kids yet, however
we will be getting a little golden retriever puppy this upcoming weekend… and
puppies are a lot like kids. Stephen and
I met 4 years ago at work. We work at
Deseret Mutual. We were both sitting in
the lunch room, I by myself, and him at a table full of friends when he noticed
me sitting alone and invited me over to sit with them. We quickly became friends. Before we went on our first “official” date,
we took a lunch break together and went to Subway. I was nervous and kept touching my hair to
make sure it was all in place and I was presentable… half way through the meal
I noticed he was staring at me and trying to hold back a laugh… My anxiety
instantly grew. He informed me that I
had managed to spread mustard through my hair and across my forehead. I was mortified… apparently that’s when he
realized I was the one for him, I on the other hand thought he’d take off
running, never to be seen again. But he
didn’t, and now, almost 4 years later we’re here with you.
I was excited when
Brother hill asked us to speak and gave us our topic. Well… As excited as one can be when asked to
speak publicly… But I was excited because
the topic is “Staying in the Struggle, Don’t Quit.” Every single one of us experiences trials and
struggles. No one is immune, although if
you’re like me, I’m sure you’ve sometimes wished you were. I want to focus my talk today on how to not
“quit” when we get hit with the big trials.
When we’re so fully consumed and overwhelmed by the struggles we’re
facing, when we feel as though taking one more step forward may cause us to
falter and fall, when the very fabric of our world is threatening to tear at
the seams... When “giving up” sounds
pretty dang tempting. How then, when
we’re feeling so weak, can we endure?
Elder
Robert D. Hales has said:
“The
basic requirements for enduring to the end include knowing who we are, children
of God with a desire to return to his presence after mortality; Understanding
the purpose of life, to endure to the end and obtain eternal life; and living
obediently with a desire and determination to endure all things, having eternal
vision. Eternal vision allows us to
overcome opposition in our temporal state and ultimately, achieve the promised
eternal rewards and blessings of eternal life.” End quote.
As
Elder Hales said, we need to know who we are to endure. So what does it mean to you when you think
about being a child of God? To me, it
means that I know him, I lived with him.
I often like to think about the pre-existence. I like to think of what it was like to live
with God. I like to think about the
plans that were presented to each of us.
One plan involved no heartache, no struggles, no trials of any kind. It ensured that every single one of us would be
perfect and clean and make it to the Celestial Kingdom, not one single soul
would be lost. But the other plan
involved temptations, it involved sin and trial, it involved heartache and
loneliness, but it also involved merciful, sweet, redemption. That plan promised us that if we endured
faithfully, we would make it back to Heavenly Father. Each and every one of us understood – I
believe in-depth – both plans. Each one
of us joyfully and excitedly chose the second plan, the plan of Salvation. We understood that to obtain true godliness,
we needed to grow, and in order to grow, we needed to experience opposition in
all things. We understood that trials
and opposition would truly benefit us and knowledge and wisdom couldn’t truly
be earned or achieved without hard work and experience; so we gladly chose
trials and opposition. We rejoiced when
the Lord promised us a savior who would pay our debts so we could return and
live with God once again. When I fear
that I cannot take another step forward, I try to remember those facts. I remind myself to keep going, because if I
do, then Salvation is promised to me, and that is overwhelming.
It’s
overwhelming to me because despite all my many imperfections (and there are
many), the Lord will welcome me back into his presence, with open and loving
arms, so long as I endure. I want to bear
my personal witness, to you of the Lord’s love, for he loves us so completely. His love is all encompassing. It is ALWAYS there for us, whether we feel we
deserve it or not. It is there for us
when we have sinned, or when we are weak.
It is there for us even when we tell him we don’t want it. His love for us is simply always there. I feel that if each of us were truly able to
comprehend the love the Lord has for us, our faith would be unshakable. In countless conference talks and scriptures
the Lord has expressed his love for us.
In 2Nephi 26:24 we are told “he doeth not anything save it be for the
benefit of the World; for he loveth the world, even that he layeth down his own
life that he may draw all men unto him.
Wherefore, he commandeth none that they shall not partake of his salvation.”
I love that scripture. Everything
the Lord does, he does for the benefit of us.
He allows us to suffer through tragedy and pain because he knows that it will benefit us. He knows
that we will be grateful for the knowledge and experience we gain. And he knows
that we need him, and he is always at our door waiting for us to let him in so
he can comfort and strengthen us.
I want to share an
experience I had. January of this year I
had back surgery, but prior to that back surgery I had chronic, constant back
pain. I suffered with it for almost 2
years before deciding to take my chances with surgery. During those 2 years I tried my hardest to be
grateful for my trial. I recognized that
physical pain was nothing compared to trials I could be going through. I knew that I was, and still am, incredibly
blessed. I tried to recognize the
lessons I was learning and the blessings I was receiving, and most the time I
feel like I did a fairly decent job. I,
for the most part, remained cheerful. I
learned to be grateful for a healthy body, something that I had really taken
for granted. I learned to recognize and
acknowledge other blessings that I had previously taken for granted. But constant pain is exhausting, and it wore
me down. My patience was stretched. There were countless nights in which sleep was
unattainable. One night last December, I
was done. I had met my limit. I knew the Lord could do anything, and I
stubbornly and bull headedly informed him it was it was time for him to heal
me. I had made up my mind, I was not
moving from my spot on my side of the bed until he healed me. I mean, He raised Lazarus from the dead! Surely a little back and sciatic nerve pain
were nothing for him. I told him that if
I he really needed me to suffer through some sort of a trial, so be it, send
something else, but I was absolutely done with this one, it was not up for
discussion. And just like that, I closed
myself off to any comfort or guidance he might send me. I foolishly closed my door and left him
outside knocking. I’m embarrassed to
admit all this, especially to a ward full of people I don’t know. I really try my hardest to be humble, but that
night, I was on the brink of “quitting”.
I threw my little tantrum to Heavenly Father silently. Steve had been awoken so many times during
many of my sleepless nights and I was trying hard to not disturb him. Partly because I felt like I should suffer
alone, but partly because I knew he would try to talk some sense into me and I
was not about to be persuaded to be reasonable.
But suddenly, Steve was there on my side of the bed and he softly told
me he felt like he needed to give me a blessing. That blessing humbled me to my core. No, my back wasn’t healed that night, yet
somehow, I lived on. The Lord told me in
that blessing something that I had heard hundreds of times, that he loved me,
that he was there for me, that if I allowed him in, he would make my burdens
light. He reminded me that burdens are
not punishments, but they are meant for our good. They teach us, they shape us. My testimony of the Lord’s love for me grew
immensely that night. I comprehended, in
a way I had never before been able to, just how much the Lord loves me. There I was, being prideful and
stubborn. Telling him I didn’t want his
love, I wanted his miracles. Yet he
didn’t turn away from me, he didn’t strike me down. I wouldn’t allow him to come to me, but he
wanted me to know of His love, so He went to Steve. He offered his strength and he taught me that
if I will continue to be patient, I will see miracles; maybe not miracles of
instant healing, but miracles of strength, wisdom, and love. Elder Richard G. Scott once said:
“Love
is a powerful healer. Realize that,
Satan would separate you from the power of the love of God, kindred, and
friends, who want to help. He would lead
you to feel that the walls are pressing in around you and there is no escape or
relief. He wants you to believe you lack
the capacity to help yourself and that no one else is really interested. If he succeeds, you will be driven to further
despair and heartache. His strategy is
to have you think you are not appreciated, loved, or wanted so that you in
despair will turn to self-criticism
, and in the extreme
even to despising yourself and feeling evil when you are not. Remember the wisdom of the Lord “is greater
than the cunning of the devil.” End quote.
Sometimes
we will feel broken and downtrodden. We
may feel as though we cannot possibly endure another moment longer. We will feel as though life is too heavy and
we just can’t seem to catch a break. We
will want to sit down and give up. We
may stubbornly tell God that we’re done, or we may shut him out entirely,
trying to pretend he doesn’t care about us.
We may feel tempted to find immediate comfort or relief and lose sight of
His eternal plan. Our faith may waver. We may question God’s plan, the plan we chose.
We will from time to time forget that
trials bring us closer to becoming perfect and we may long for a life free of
trouble. No matter what your trial is, I
promise you that you can make it through.
I testify that God loves each of us perfectly. Do not shut him out. Trials are never punishments, they are
opportunities for growth and if we allow him in, he will comfort and carry us. For we are His children, and He is our
Father.
I say these things in the name of
Jesus Christ, Amen.
We just love her.